Predominantley, the thing that means a lot to me, (that most people dont know about) is writing poetry. I suppose I always stupidly imagine a writer with glasses (check), a typewriter (no check, except the barbie one I had when I was 7), a vast book collection (check), and an exciting heartbroken life (no check).
Instead I've just got these crazy overworking thoughts, and the only way I can feel okay is to write them down rather cryptically in poetry. Sometimes they aren't so cryptic - I dont post those. Paranoia I suppose. Maybe I just don't like revealing how I feel too much. Its so easy for me to be ashamed of myself.
I think writing is one of those things that require a certain kind of person, a certain kind of truthful sadness, and perhaps the longing to achieve some pefect, blissful emotion. Its almost like when you hear a meaningful song where the lyrics mirror exactly how you feel, or even wish to feel. Writing is like that for me.
Theres a lot of things I don't like about myself. Same as everyone. Writing is the one thing I feel okay about, that I feel quietly proud of, though also a little ashamed of.
I'm actually very normally, a down to earth person. Theres sort of two versions of myself that contradict one another but also strangely meld together.
Anyway, this is all just a load of meaningless nonsence to make up for the fact that I went and deleted my old profile writing, which actually, I rather liked.